My Heartbreak

Hi Everyone, a very personal one today. I said in my last post I'd be back to regular posting again, but unfortunetly life got in the way once again! Back in May I was told the one thing I had been waiting for my whole life. After two at home tests my doctors finally confirmed the most amazing thing, I was pregnant!! I was absolutly over the moon with happiness! I wanted to scream it from the rooftops, since I was a little girl I have ALWAYS wanted to become a mother. For as long as I can remember all I have ever wanted was a baby and a family with the guy of my dreams. And finally that was about to come true. I started reading countless pregnancy blogs and watching YouTube videos to prepare myself for what was to come over the next few months, I started writing down every single sympton I had, all my feelings and any important dates, preparing to start writing my own pregnancy blog posts. My first midwife appointment went really well. I was given my pregnancy notes which was so exciting to me, if you don't know what they are all it really is is a booklet that you take to all your appointments, scans etc for the doctors and yourself to fill in. At such an early stage I only had a few pages to fill in with my personal details and the usual health questions. But I was so excited by it all! When I came out of the doctors surgery that day I was over the moon, I felt like I was floating down the street because I was so SO happy! Me and my boyfriend went straight into town after that, I bought lotions and potions for stretch marks and also some pregnancy vitamins, we looked at all sorts of other things we'd need in the coming months on the baby aisle in Boots, I even signed up to their Parenting Club. We started planning this amazing future we were going to have together and started looking at books we could get to help us on this journey we had just started. To say we were excited was an absolute under statement! We told a few close family memebers and friends and everyone was so supportive and happy for us. I was on cloud nine and would never in a million years had thought that my perfect dream was about to be shattered and turned into a nightmare in just a few short days! One Saturday afternoon I noticed a few spots of blood, to begin with I was terrified and began to panic but then remembered spotting was very common in early pregnancy and I calmed right down. To be on the safe side I contacted my local hospital and got checked over, they did another pregnancy test which came up postive within seconds and the Dr assured me, that all was probably well, but booked me in for an early scan first thing on the following Monday morning just incase. Going to that scan I was so so nervous but had so much hope inside me, praying that everything would be ok. And it turned out everything was just fine! My baby was ok, it had a tiny heartbeat and everything was normal. I wasn't as far along as me and my midwife first thought. And the bleed was completey normal and sonething that occurs in a lot of women. The relief I felt that morning was so overwhelming, I can not even begin to describe it to you! Once again I was over the moon with happiness and I started to imagine that future I'd been longing for, all over again. Me, my boyfriend and his parents spent that afternoon in the Lakes having a lovely lunch and talking non stop about babies and all the amazing things that were coming our way! I never for a second thought that it was all about to go horribly wrong. Without getting too personal and gross, that night I bled, alot, and had what felt like period pains. Once again I found myself on the phone to the hospital explaining in detail everything that had gone on in the last 3 days! The Dr explained to me that I was probably experincing a miscarriage! That word still rings in my ears, the one thing I have always feared was happening to me. I was honestly in a state of shock, the next day the hospital confirmed my fears, there was no longer a baby.

I really can't begin to explain the pain I felt from hearing that and it will upset me for the rest of my life. Now I know I wasn't far along in my pregnancy and the baby wasn't fully formed (technically it wasn't even a baby) but my heart honestly broke that day. I couldn't function properly, I stayed in my room with my boyfriend for days, just locked away hiding from the world, we didn't want to see or speak to anyone and just wanted to be alone to cope with our grief. We both took time off work and spent time together to come to terms with what had happened. Slowly coming to terms with it and getting on with life as best we could. My heart (more so than ever) really does go out to anyone that has lost a child, or miscarried later on in pregnancy, I can not even begin to imagine the pain that must cause! My situation was bad enough and some may say I had it easy, but lets not get into that. So really that's all I have to say and now you know why I haven't been around on here or Twitter much in the past month or 2. I'll eventually get myself back into the swing of things I'm sure. But for now I just thought I'd explain to you all where I've been. Oh and by the way, to top things off I have just lost my job aswell (I wasn't fired or anything, the shop I was working in closed) so now I am pennyless (NOT a good thing for a beauty blogger) and looking for a new job. Which may mean with more free time I might post more but we'll see. Thank you for baring with me and reading this awfully long post, that probably doesn't even make sense. I just needed a place to vent my emotions, and I'm sorry that place was here!

Much Love Everyone 

Gemma xo.

April Favourites

Today I am back with my first favourites post since I took a break from blogging. I didn't really try out too many new products in the month of April therefore there are only a few favourites but here they are anyway.

Maybelline Big Eyes Volum'Express Waterproof Mascara

First up we have this mascara I received in my February GlossyBox. I really don't like the side that is meant for your 'upper lashes' because it just doesn't seem to do much for me. It gives hardly any volume or length to the lashes what so ever, nor does it hold a curl very well. The one for the bottom lashes however is really impressive! The brush is super tiny and thin so you can get right into every single lash, even the ones right in the corner! I have used this every single day since I got it, to leave my bottom lashes nice and defined, without any clumping or smudging.

Soap & Glory One Heck Of A Blot Powder

  

Definitely my favourite discovery so far this year. I had been eyeing up this 'super-translucent mattifying powder' for months, after seeing countless raving reviews of it online. Everyone claimed that it kept their make up in place and their skin shine free all day. And being a sufferer of an oily t-zone myself, I do not know why I held off buying this wonder product for so long! Since buying it at the begining of March I haven't used any of my other setting powders. Before using this, my make up used to disappear from my nose within 3-4 hours of applying, but now it stays put for much longer and I usually don't have to touch up until the late afternoon. If and when I do touch up, this doesn't leave a cakey look mess on my face like many other powders I've tried. Instead it just blots away any shine and my make up looks as good as new. It doesn't cover my open pores, but it doesn't accentuate them either, which I am really happy about. So I am now on the look out for a primer that will give me the smooth, flawless complexion I long for!

Sleek Face Form Palette in Light

 

I bought this palette along with the powder I mentioned above, in one of Boots' many '3 for 2 events'. And it is another product I have been after for a while. I love contouring, and this palette is perfect for achieveing really defined cheekbones. The contour powder is the perfect brown for me, its not too dark or muddy looking and it isn't at all orange. It's completly matte, leaving a nice shadow that gives me great cheekbones! The highlighter is a gorgeous champagne colour, with just enough shimmer to make the skin glow without looking like a disco ball. I like to apply this to the tops of my cheekbones and along my brow bone for a lovely subtle highlight. Lastly the blusher is a beautiful pink with a gold shimmer running through it (apparently very similar to Nars Orgasm blush) that gives cheeks a nice flush of colour. All three powders are extremely pigmented, meaning this palette is going to last me such a long time. Only one or two swirls with a brush is needed in each powder to create a stunning look. This palette is great for travelling also, because everything you need for chiseled cheekbones is althogether in one place big enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Perfect for any girls makeup bag.

 (my first ever swatch photo apologies for quality!!)

Crown Brush Make-Up Brush Cleaner

I have only used this brush cleaner a few times but I really do like it. I used to only ever deep cleanse my brushes every few weeks. But now I like to spot clean them after most uses. This has cleaned my foundation brush like nothing else I have used before. It's  perfect for cleaning eyeshadow brushes too. Once you've created a look just spray a tiny bit of this onto the bristles, wipe it off on a piece of kitchen roll or tissue and it's as good as new. Ready to use the next day for a complete different eye look, without messing it up with colours from previous days. If you are ever in a hurry to use a brush but its dirty, you literally can use it again with in seconds of cleaning with this. It's so quick and easy and dries almost instantly. No more waiting around for brushes to dry over night!!

So there we have it my 4 favourite products from April, hopefully there will be a few more this month.

Thank You so much once again for sticking with my blog while I have been absent. And hi to any new readers that may have stumled upon this. Regular posting will now resume :D

Much Love Gemma xo. 

I'm Back!!! :D

Hey Dolls, long time no speak!! I am eventually back in the land of blogging :) And I couldn't be happier about it!!

 You may or may not know that a long long time ago I broke my laptop and had no choice but to take a step back from my blog! The weeks turned into months and I just could not save money to replace my smashed laptop. I was beginning to think I would never get another until last night when my absolute hero of a boyfriend very kindly decided to buy us one to share! So I'm back and I intend to stay here. Please bare with me though, this post has took me such a long time to type up, because I just can not string together a sentence!! I am very off practise. I promise once I have my mojo back I will be back with my regular beauty posts! But in the mean time, let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like to see here on my blog and I'll do my best to make it happen! 

Thank you at all you lovely people who have stayed with me and continued following and viewing my blog while I've been away I really do appreciate it. 

 Hope your all ok.

Much Love Gemma xx

 

 



The Autumn Tag!

  Hi Everyone!! It's been a while!! Unfortunately I'm not here to stay, because I'm still without a laptop! I just thought while this Tag is going round, I'd grab my Dad's iMac for 5 minutes and get something typed up for you all! I've missed blogging sooooo much over these past few months, and I really can't wait to get back to it! I promise I'll try my best to do in the very near future. But for now here's the Autumn Tag to give you something new to read EVENTUALLY and to help settle my craving to blog! I do literally crave it, it's insane!!

For Autumn, what is your...

1.  Favourite thing about it? I love so many things about Autumn, the dark nights mean more cuddling up watching films with my boyfriend, getting all cosy and warm in my onesies, big coats and jumpers! And of course Halloween, one of my all time favourite holidays!!

2.  Favourite drink? In Autumn, just like at Christmas I love the Gingerbread Lattes from Costa :)

3.  Favourite scent/candle? Anything that smells like Cinnamon! 

4.  Best lipstick? Like everyone I like to dig out all my deep dark berry colours at this time of year, my Rimmel Kate Moss lipstick in 107 made its first outing in months on Saturday! And I'm sure it won't be its last. I really want MAC Rebel this Autumn aswell.

5.  Go to moisturiser? I don't change my moisturiser when the seasons change. I probably should but I don't!

6.  Go to colours for the eyes? They don't usually change as I'm not that adventerous when it comes to eyeshadows, I have been using bronze and golds a lot recently though. I really want to try out some berry colours aswell, I found this on the beautiful Kayleighs blog from last year and would love to try it out! If I ever get the courage to buy the colours!

7.  Favourite music or band/singer to listen to? This stays the same as well, I listen to all types of music all year round! LOVE Christmas songs as soon as December comes round though! 

 

8.  Favourite outfit to wear (i.e. boots & a scarf combo)? Skinny jeans, boots and a big thick jumper :)

9.  Autumn treat? I usually buy a new coat and pair of boots every year! I'll do the same this year and hopefully buy the MAC items I have mentioned above aswell!

10.  Favourite place to be? Cuddled up in bed or on the settee watch TV and Films with my boyfriend!

There we go then, My first blog post in months. Sorry it was very short and sweet but i hope you enjoyed it non the less! I tag you all to do this, and be sure to tell me if you do! Hopefully I'll be here again soon. Thank You all for your continued support when I haven't been here, every single comment, follow and view means the world to me! 

Much Love Gemma xo.

How I Clean My Make Up Brushes

Hi Everyone. Today I thought I'd share with you how I clean my make up brushes. I don't do anything special with them and in all honesty I am down right lazy when it comes to brush cleaning! Only doing it every so often when I finally remember! It's pretty disgusting and shameful I know. I'm sorry!

All I use to clean my brushes is a cheap baby shampoo and a sponge.

To be precise I use this Wilkinson's own baby shampoo and a cheap Wilkinsons bath sponge. In total they probably cost less than £2 to buy. So you really don't need buckets of money to keep your brushes clean and hygienic! This is what I do every month or so to get my brushes nice and clean. I know I should really do it once a week but like I said I'm lazy :| -

Step 1 - 

I run the brush under luke warm water. Not hot! Trying to only wet the bristles so I don't remove any of the glue holding the brush together which could potentially ruin the whole thing.

Step 2 - 

Wet the sponge and apply a blob of shampoo on to it. Swirl the brush in it and rinse, continuing to do so until the water runs clear, and all make up is removed.

Step 4 - 

Finally I re shape my brushes and lie them flat on a towel to dry over night. If I need my brushes in a hurry. Eg, I'm going on a night out and decide hours before leaving the house, I need to clean my brushes. I will clean them as normal and set them out on a window sill where the sunlight can dry them! Which probably isn't good for my brushes and isn't always possible. So I need some kind of spot cleaning product to help me out in times like these and to also keep my brushes cleaner and more hygenic! If you use a spot cleaner please let me know which one you use so I can take a look at them. I'm thinking of buying the MAC Brush Cleanser so please give me your opinions on that.

For reference the majority of my brushes are Real Techniques, which I absolutely adore!! I also have a brush roll of around 24 brushes from when I did Beauty Therapy at college, these are the pinky/purple handled ones. I only ever use them when I am desperate, because they really are pretty rubbish! Hence why there's only 4 of them here. And that little black brush is the brush that came with my Maybelline Gel Eyeliner! I love it. I'd love to know your favourite brushes, because I am looking to buy some new ones.

I hope you enjoyed this post and some of you may have a better idea of how to clean your brushes now.

Much Love Gemma xo.

Tag: Would You Rather? Beauty Edition

Hi Beauties, if you follow me on Twitter you will probably know I have been trying and failing to get back into blogging recently, but for some reason I just can not seem to string sentences together. So instead of stressing myself out even more I thought I would take a break and do this tag that's been doing the rounds on several Beauty blogs recently. So you eventually have something to read from me.

Would you rather lose all of your mascaras, eyeliners, lipsticks, and lipglosses or lose all of your palettes and eyeshadows?

I don't have too many eyeshadows and only have the one palette so I would have to say those. I'm not too adventurous with eyeshadow, its either a full on dark smokey eye or barely anything at all for me. So losing them wouldn't be too horrendous! I'd hate to lose the others though! Except from the lipgloss I very rarely wear it!

Would you rather chop off all your hair or never be able to cut it again?

Chop it all off, it'll grow back eventually! And I could try out short hair styles that I am too scared to have now. Never cutting it again would result in horrible scraggly hair! Not nice.

Would you rather have a coral cheek or a pink cheek?

Pink, coral scares me for some reason. I feel like I'd look orange!

If you had £1000 to spend, Would you rather buy clothes or makeup?

I'd love to say £500 on each, but I'd have to go with clothes shoes and accessories because I don't have that much, my make up collection however is rather large! 

Would you rather apply lipstick as eyeliner, or eyeliner as lipstick?

Eww, neither. I really don't know. There are no eyeliners I'd wear on my lips! And lipsticks would be awful on the eyes! However a black lipstick would work, so Lipstick as Eyeliner as long as its black.

Would you rather only shop at MAC or Sephora?

Here in the UK we don't have Sephora so I'd have to say MAC.

Would you rather only use one eyeshadow color or one lip color for the rest of your life?

Eyeshadow, like I said I'm not too adventurous with eyeshadow but I'm obsessed with lipstick and always like to change the colour I wear, so I couldn't deal with only having one!

Would you rather wear winter clothes in summer or summer clothes in winter?

Once again, I haven't got a clue. Erm winter clothes in summer. I hate being cold. And I suppose I could cut up clothes in summer to make them more bearable!

Would you rather dark nails or bright nails all year round?

Why are all these questions so tricky?! I'd probably say dark because they would go with more outfits! Although I would hate to give up all my bright polishes! I just don't know!!

Would you rather give up your favorite lip product or your favorite eye product?

Eye product. I have spent far more money on high end lip products so I'd hate to waste the money by giving them up!

Would you rather only be able to wear your hair in a pony tail or a messy bun?

Ponytail you can do different things with a ponytail, whereas a messy bun can only be a messy bun!

Would your rather never being able to paint your nails again or never use lipgloss?

Never use lipgloss, I hardly ever wear it right now so it probably wouldn't make a difference to me.

Would you rather shave your eyebrows and have none at all? or sharpie them in everyday?

Sharpie them in. Eyebrows make your face, I'd look horrific without any so I'd somehow try and get a sharpie to work!

Would you rather live without makeup or nail polish?
Nail polish, I know I love the stuff but I don't leave the house without make up very often plus I can't wear nail polish at work so I'd have to get rid of that and stick with make up.

If you haven't done this tag already you should. Although the questions are really difficult it is fun to try to answer them. Make sure to let me know where I can read yours if you do it :)

I'll hopefully be back to normal blogging sometime soon, hoping my laptop will be sorted ASAP. Please bare with me though and thank you for being so patient.

Much Love Gemma xo.

MUA Undress Me Too Eyeshadow Palette

Hi Girls, once again my apologies for not posting anything for such a long time! I still haven't got a new laptop charger so can only get on my laptop when I can get hold of my brothers charger!

Today I'm going to show you the ever so popular MUA Undress Me Too Palette. That I picked up sometime last month.

This palette is famous for being an amazing dupe for the Naked 2 palette from Urban Decay, having never owned a UD palette I was really excited to try out this much cheaper alternative. After looking in Superdrug countless amounts of times and not coming across it I gave up hope of ever finding this beauty in town. Then one day I found the whole Undress Me collection tucked away on the side of one of the aisles! WHY have you done this Superdrug?! Instead of putting the collection with the rest of the MUA  make up its hidden away! I just do not understand it. Anyway enough whinging and on to the actual product! I was over the moon to eventually get my hands on this product and couldn't wait to try it out (not before I had took pictures of course! brownie points for being a good beauty blogger for once :P I resisted using this for days so I could get you guys some nice clean pictures!) I haven't got any swatches but here are some pictures to give you an idea of the shades.

(naked, devotion, tranquil, exposed)

 (shy, fiery, reveal, wink)

(lavish, dreamy, obsessed, corrupt)

In all honesty I haven't used every single shadow in the palette, but the ones I have used I am really impressed with. The pigmentation is exceptional for a £4 palette, if you do the maths that comes to just over 33p per shadow, amazing huh?! The staying power is also really good, weather I use these for during the day or a night out I never have to re apply and that's without using a primer! So I imagine with one they will be even better. The palette has a mix of both matte and shimmer shades, which is perfect for me because I love to use both finishes depending on my mood and the make up look I am wanting to achieve. I believe this is the first MUA palette that has named shadows, which I really like, there's nothing worse than trying to explain a product to someone when said product doesn't have a name! The shades I reach for most within in this palette are - Naked and Lavish for a soft matte smokey eye for a neutral day time look, and Fiery, Obsessed and Corrupt for a more dark smokey eye for a night out, I have also used Devotion in the inner corners of my eyes for a lovely pop of golden highlight. If I ever get the confidence and camera skills to show you any of my make up looks I will definitely use this to paint you a better picture of this amazing product. But for the time being a hope this post has given you a nice insight into this much loved product. If you haven't got it already and have £4 going spare, I strongly suggest you go and pick it up. It really is brilliant value for money! Weather it's as good as Urban Decay Naked 2, I obviously can't comment but it's a fabulous palette all the same!

Much Love Gemma xo.